ForceTime: The Humble Bundle is an evil conspiracy. : Videogame ...

Posted by Sebastian Force on Thursday, September 29, 2011 ? Leave a Comment?

The Hum?ble Bun?dle, a bun?dle of games that basi?cally lets you pay what?ever you want to sup?port char?ity, is an evil con?spir?acy. There, I finally said it. When?ever there?s a new Hum?ble Bun?dle that comes out, I watch the video and I am pre?dictably like ?Hell yeah! I love the Hum?ble Bun?dle! I can?t wait to buy it!? And then I scroll down to those graphs to see what other peo?ple are pay?ing, and I see the aver?age price is always around five dol?lars or some?thing. The Linux guys always pay more than the Mac folks who always pay more than the Win?dows peo?ple. That?s fine. But then I go to pay for it and, when I look at the slid?ing scales, the guilt trip starts.

?

?I?m pay?ing twenty-five dol?lars to them? Okay, how does that break?down. The devel?op?ers? yeah bet?ter give those guys some money.? Then the scale takes away from the chil?dren and i?m like ?Oh wait no you poor chil?dren i?m sorry I?ll give you more money I promise!? But then the Hum?ble Tip goes down and i?m like ?No dammit no i?m sorry Hum?ble guys please don?t judge me! The EFF? I don?t even know who they are and I feel bad for not giv?ing them more?money!

?

I never feel like they?re actu?ally happy with me. Like some?one some?where is going to look at my pur?chase and be like ?Look at this! This Sebas?t?ian Force only gave us $5.50! He must hate chil?dren! Lets go to his house and beat him with a flam?ing Dream?cast con?troller for being a hor?ri?ble person.?

?

We Will Find?You.

?

This never stops either! I?m never happy with what I give to every?one, but I?espe?cially?feel bad for who?ever gets the least amount of money. I?m basi?cally telling them ?sorry, but you?re not impor?tant enough to give more than two dol?lars. ?I spend more money on a Three?Mus?ke?teers?bar and a Gin?ger Ale than I gave you?re entire com?pany for the pur?chase of six?games. And that?s if you?re giv?ing twenty-five dol?lars! Try giv?ing the aver?age of $4.51 and see what those poor kids think of you. They?re prob?a?bly curs?ing your name in their sleep right now, and undoubt?edly at least some are mak?ing voodoo dolls to make you run out?side naked scream?ing with a shovel in one hand and bang?ing your head into a Kinect with the other. This is what I think about when I donate to the Hum?ble Bundle.

?

My con?clu?sion is, The Hum?ble Bun?dles are evil con?spir?a?cies designed to make you give up your entire pay?check just so that you feel con?tent with your?self. And I will Hum?ble Bun?dle, because you deserve it more than any?one?else.

Filed under Culture, Featured Articles, Features, ForceTime, Mac, Opinion, PC ? Tagged with death bundle, evil bundle, humble bundle, indie bundle, voodoo bundle

Source: http://bnbgaming.com/2011/09/29/forcetime-the-humble-bundle-is-an-evil-conspiracy/

the x factor execution execution facebook music facebook music daphne guinness daphne guinness