Focus on the Family Community: Relationships and Marriage: How ...

It has been 1 year and 2 months since D-Day and my husband and I have been working very hard to put our marriage back together. We went to counseling for about 3 months but had to discontinue it due to finances. However, we have read about a dozen books and have had endless hours of converstation. Thankfully, we are doing pretty well all considering.

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However, my problem is with my attitude toward the other woman. I saw her the other day and it just left me feeling angry and hurt all over again. I want so desperately to forgive her and be able to lay all these feelings to rest. But all it takes is for me to see her again and I feel like a little girl and so vulnerable. I hate that she has this affect on me.

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I pray for her almost daily. I pray for her marriage and I also pray that she get a revelation of how much pain she has caused to people that didn't deserve it. Right before seeing her, I actually found myself feeling less angry toward her and more gracious. Then when I saw her, all of that just walked out the door.

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I know that I struggle with the fact that she intentionally set out to try to take my husband from me. It wasn't a slow, gradual emotional connection and then it just happened. She set her sights on him and had the sole intention of getting him for herself and trying to have a life with him. She is unhappily married and she wanted someone to take her away from that relationship. I can forgive things that are not intentional. It's the intentional that is really throwing me.

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I know the Bible says,"forgive them for they know not what they do". I try to keep focused on that. But it's not helping. Would someone plrease give me some guidance on this? I really don't want this woman having this kind of control over me anymore. I know that my unforgiveness is only hurting me and I want it to stop.

Source: http://www.focusonlinecommunities.com/thread/22719

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