Stories from mayor's black ops office

You probably didn?t know there?s a black ops office in City Hall.

I had heard rumors of its existence as part of Mayor Alvin Brown?s administration, but I hadn?t been able to confirm it until I stumbled upon a way-out-of-the-way office in the St. James Building.

The sign on the door read: ?Office of How To Make People, Especially the Mayor?s Supporters, Really, Really Mad.?

When I opened the door, the czar was in, and surprisingly he agreed to talk.

He explained that his office had been given short shrift in the new administration until it had success early on when he advised Brown to miss a scheduled meeting with Delores Barr Weaver.

?The angry reaction to that really established the office?s bona fides,? he said with a chuckle, ?and started us on a real roll.?

The office?s next advice was to not return phone calls to prominent members of the Civic Council who had been instrumental in Brown?s election.

Next up, he said, was the question of funding an independent ethics office. He told Brown to ride the fence.

?That produced more than a few grumbles,? he said.

The czar said he was particularly proud of the anger coming from City Council.

?I told the mayor to ignore the council when it voted to not put the Jacksonville Children?s Commission under him and when it passed a resolution to remove the city?s equestrian center from a bid proposal to operate the city?s public facilities.

?The courthouse furniture flap,? he said, ?was icing on the cake. There?s no better way to really get under the council?s skin than to veto a measure passed by the council 18-1.?

I asked the czar which group was the easiest to make mad.

Without hesitation, his answer was the media. His strategy: delays in providing public records, being less than honest on the existence of public records and training the mayor?s spokesman to only say, ?We have no comment.?

He pointed to the office?s most recent work.

?I told the mayor to send a letter to Shad Khan saying the Jaguars had defaulted on their lease to use EverBank Field. Boy, that worked out better than I ever imagined.

?And when I heard that Carol Alexander had announced plans to retire in a few weeks as executive director of the Ritz Theatre and Museum, I thought about what would be the best way to handle a well respected employee who had guided the Ritz for 14 years.

?Then I had a flash of brilliance. The proper course was clear: Fire her immediately.?

As for the office?s future prospects of making people mad, the czar was almost cocky in his confidence.

He pointed out that some council members are mad, that a lot of Brown?s supporters are mad and that Brown is getting ready to take on the mother of all controversial issues ? public employee pensions ? while dealing with a $56 million budget hole.

?I?m thinking about asking for a more prominent office,? he said.

ron.littlepage@jacksonville.com, (904) 359-4284

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